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The biggest update is the creation of a Facebook memorial page, which appears to have gone up earlier today, possibly within the last hour. The page's administrator writes that Tom's funeral will take place in Indiana and there will be an additional memorial in L.A., tentatively scheduled for June 11th. One post reads:
"We want to let you know that Tom's mother, Martha Bridegroom, is planning Tom's funeral arrangements and he will be laid to rest in his home state of Indiana. The Los Angeles memorial will bring together anyone and everyone who will not be able to attend the memorial in Indiana."
31 comments:
Almost a year later, here is an update on your fellow alumni:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR9gyloyOjM
I know your beautiful husband Shane misses you so much. Your life is not in vein.
Just saw Shane's FB movie.... So sad... Incredible
My heart goes out to Shane. I'm almost ready to go hunt down Tom's family in Indiana. How disgustingly shameful of them.
Shame on Shane for all the hatred toward's Tom's flesh and blood. Shane has set up a lynch mob - surely Tom would not want that! Shame on you, Shane. boooo!
Sadly, if Tom's family would have accepted him and loved him, he might still be alive. </3 My heart aches for Shane and the Bridegrooms.
Shane's message is one of love and acceptance, the only hatred in this story is Toms families vile attitude towards their beautiful son and the only person who loved him unconditionally. Shane hasn't set up a lynch mob, Toms parents vile hatred and bitter little hearts has inspired a lynch mob, Shane's message of love and acceptance was just the messenger which brought their bigoted views to light.
Shane's message is spreading awareness for an important issue. The shame here lies with Tom's family for not allowing Shane to say goodbye to his partner. The funeral wasn't about them, it was about Tom. And they dirtied it with their irrational hate. They didn't have to agree with Tom's lifestyle, but they dirtied their son's death with hatred. Like you said, they were his flesh and blood. So they never should have turned their backs on him, threatened him with VIOLENCE, and then turned away the person whom he loved, and who had loved him for who he was. Shame indeed, anonymous, shame on his "flesh and blood".
I think you are confused. He did not kill himself, he was happy in his life with Shane. He fell during a photo shoot. While his parents can be blamed for causing him heart ache in life, they aren't responsible for his death in any way.
Wow, I just watched the video on YouTube. When it mentioned Indiana I started to think about how my small town in Indiana would handle something like this. At eight minutes and thirty seconds I about fell out of my chair. I grew up in Knox, IN...now I know.
Wow after seeing this video toms family should be ashamed of how they treated him and Shane
They should have been so happy that there son found someone who accepted him and loved him for him and unconditionally. This is so sad toms final resting place should have never been left to his mother and I hope his mother and family feel tormented for the rest of there lives I can't imagine how Tom must have felt knowing his family didn't accept him for who he was....shame on You guys!!!! I pray for you Shane I'm so glad your family supports you!!!!
Mrs and Mr Bridegroom Senior ... Tsk Tsk Tsk.
First let me say this. I support same-sex marriage. Equality is for everyone. What I am disappointed in is that the comments here reflect judgement from those that read them rather than love. When you draw a line and take stance of shame and pity towards those that don't understand, you do not unite a thought but further the divisive stance on equality for all.
It is human to want to judge those that judge others but shouldn't we find a way to reach all of those who make bad judgements?
It's not about judging the judgmental. It's about standing up for justice and speaking out against violence and hatred.
i just watched the video and feel anger at these parents and all the other parents and so-called loved ones that would rather see their sons/daughters dead rather then live their lives with the person they choose to love. its sad for everyone involved--BUT IT DID NOT HAVE TO END THIS WAY. its been a year now, any updates on Tom's family
views?
I am just hearing about this terrible tragedy. My heart breaks for Tom’s love, Shane, and for his parents. It breaks my heart more that some could not see past their own bigotry and fear to see love for what it is. I pray for those people. Love comes in many forms, and we should embrace it. The greatest gift from God is love, is it not?
I have to think that through his death, a powerful message is left behind for us all. Tom clearly touched many lives while he was here, and was loved by all. In his passing, and through the courageous work done by his life partner, Shane, word is quickly spreading like wildfire, not only about the life of a beautiful boy that was so tragically cut short, but another message, about love.
Thank you Shane for keeping Tom on everyone’s minds and in our hearts. I’ve never met either of you. But you’ve truly touched my heart today, and I know you’ve spread your important message to so many others. This is how change happens, folks.
My love and prayers to you Shane, and to Tom’s family.
Lisa
You cannot force people to love what you love. Most normal males do not find it palatable to have their private parts encompassed in a rectum. Most people avoid the filthier parts of their humanness as best they can - hence there are no picnics around waste water treatment plants. The blindness that is required of those that espouse this lifestyle is nothing short of astounding. None of you ever say where (if any) you will draw a line. Equal Love Equal Rights = anyone can marry anything. Yes? A man can marry his dog if he so chooses - who are you to say he can't? Your mother could marry her car - and leave her $50 million estate to said car...and you would have nothing to say about it? Tolerance is just another way of saying "Please accept my choice of sin and help me feel OK about it." Sorry my friends - you will never win over those that believe there are right and wrong in this world. That's just the cold hard facts. Can't wait to see the venom that comes flying back at my comments!
Dear Anonymous @ 10:49am today...
Your comments are simply disgusting, and I'm sure they'll be deleted in due time. They have no place here (or anywhere, for that matter).
What's more, your visualization about the couple's sexual practices just reinforces the paradoxical truth that you and your kind are obsessed with what other people do (or do not do, unless you are a voyeur and documented said practices) in the sanctity of their own homes.
For the record, being gay is not a "lifestyle," which suggests it's a choice. One is BORN gay, and it simply depends on when one discovers it: whether you are five or 55. "Lifestyle" suggests there is something deliberate about being gay, and with the amount of vitriole surrounding homosexuality in our supposedly progressive society, it's hardly something anyone would wish on themselves, or their worst enemy.
-Andy, Vassar '01
Afterword: Loving someone of the same sex is not the same as loving a car, a dog, a monkey, a mailbox, or whatever dumb analogy you want to make. Though, I would argue, one should be able to "marry" anything (or anyone) he or she wants. Why do you care if I choose to spend my golden years watching sunsets and playing Scrabble with a box truck?
I have been openly gay for 25 years. I have fought for gay rights for two decades. I am nobody's idea of a homophobe. But Oh lord, I am so tired of this whole "it is not a choice" nonsense.
There is no conclusive proof that we are born this way. There is no conclusive proof that it is developed environmentally in our formative years. Yes, it could very well be a choice. There is no proof about any of this.
More importantly, WHY DO WE CARE???? I am gay. I don't need a reason to justify it. Saying "it is not a choice" smacks of self-hatred and apology. I don't know why I am gay, but tomorrow I ABSOLUTELY would choose to be gay all over again. I am not going to apologize for it by saying "please accept me -- i was born this way -- i can't help myself". Ugh. That whole argument is repulsive.
Besides, biological determinism has been used against people of color, has been used against women -- why in the world do we gay people think it is a good strategy?
Religion is not a choice, yet it is protected under the law. We do not need to be born this way in order to deserve equal rights. Choice/genetic/environmental -- it does not matter why. We deserve equal rights because we are human.
Religion is a choice, though people are usually influenced into a certain religion at a young age, but people change their beliefs all the time. While you may say you would choose to be gay again you didn't choose to be gay in the first place, hense why so many gay people try to be straight but can't, they tried to choose to be straight but it didn't work. Agree wtih you on the fact that even if it is a choice it should still be protected under the law because of the fact that people who are against gay marriage wouldn't be affected if it were legalized.
Many don't feel hatered towards the Bridegroom family, only sorrow in that they didn't honor their son. They did not accept him for who he was and chose to limit their connections with him. In his death they selfishly chose to a burial and service that did not include those closest to him. Had he been able to marry Shane, Shane would've accommodated the Bridegroom family to participate in Tom's burial and services. Much different than how the Bridegroom family chose to handle things.
Hahahaha you so stupid and pathetic. It's funny how you talk about sin because last time I checked thee shall not judge and what do you do "JUDGE", idiot. And hate because you can stand the fact to see someone happy. You'll be the first to go to hell if you should ask yourself. Keep judging one day you might have kids that come out gay. That would be your punishment. I so dislike people that call there selves Jesus kids but have so much hate towards other because of there sexuality. There no such thing as a bug sin they are all the same. You curse, you judge, and pretty sure probably go to church and talk about others. So if being gay is a sin I'm sure everything you do is too.
This is a very sad and very inspiring story of a great love
enjoyed by Tom and Shane . I think the Bridegroom family lost Tom twice when they ostracized him and
when he died . To do this to your own flesh and blood and such a sweet funny loving one such as Tom.
I hope this true tale opens up many hearts and minds let people love whom they want and support their ability to find their true
mate .Best to Shane thanks for sharing your touching story .
To Anonymous of July 17, 2012- My parents told me I kissed girls on the beach at age 2 which I can't remember. What I can remember, I always liked and admired the male form - the muscles, hirsute men, etc. How was this a choice when you feel at six that you're different from other boys and you don't even know what it is? Certainly you choose which feelings to act on but that is a very different thing than how you feel inside.
How much Martha and Norman missed by not getting to know Shane and losing a part of their son. It isn't about them. It was about Tom. I am sorry for his loss to both his parents and family and to Shane as well. The grieving process could have been eased on both sides if there had been some acceptance. It should have been about Tom, all aspects of Tom which included Shane as well as his family. There will be a reckoning someday and I would not want to be in Martha and Norman shoes when that happens. Imagine trying to forgive yourself for something like this? It is all very sad for everyone involved and picking sides is not going to change what is.
I can't believe this story it makes me sick. My son is gay n I love him more n now feel the need to protect him more from evil people. Y wld u put ur child thru that. SHAME ON U MARTHA MAY U PAY FOR UR SINS
Hey, "Anonymous," you gutless wonder. The issue is a PERSON choosing the PERSON who they want to marry.
Your ridiculous, bigoted analogies are precisely the same that were used to argue against allowing people of different races to marry.
Where do YOU draw the line? Only those of whom you approve can marry? Only those of the same race? Same religion?
And my gay friends didn't CHOOSE to be gay. They just ARE. I didn't CHOOSE to be straight. I just am. Did you CHOOSE to be a narrow minded ass?
Climb back under your rock of hatred, pal. And keep hiding behind "Anonymous.
Why can't we just live and let live. If Tom chose Shane than as hard as his parents found it that he was gay they should've respected his choice, you don't have your children to live their lives for them, you guide them and then let them go, you love them and are hopefully proud of the people they become. I feel for Shane, he has been treated unfairly and Tom would be so disappointed. Mr and Mrs Bridegroom have tried to erase the life that Tom made and that is just making a mockery of who he was, they can't be proud of themselves and to be ashamed of Tom being gay...well I'm lost for words, we live in a very alternative world today..live and let live!
Laying in bed this morning next to my partner of 7 years with tears streaming down my face after watching that video. I can't imagine my world anymore without Jesse in it. I lost my mom recently and never got to tell her about me. That regret still haunts me daily. I couldn't deal with it anymore and had to tell my family. They have embarrassed us both. Shane, I truly wish you could have experienced the love we have from both sides of our family.. My heart aches for you and for Tom. It's truly unfortunate. What you do in your life now will define not just you, but Tom as well. You must live for both of you. As far as his family, I am sure they are in pain, but not just for their loss, but for their actions! Someday hopefully they will understand where they went wrong. It doesn't matter what you say or how you treat people after they are gone. It matters what you do, say or treat hem when they are here amongst us.
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